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Conversation with Siavash Khorramgah

In this issue of “Khat-e-Solh” (Peace Line), an interview with Ms. Nasim Amini, a lawyer, has been conducted regarding the issue of dowry. The interviewer emphasizes on shedding light on the legal aspects of dowry, looking at the problem of imprisonment of some men after marriage or during divorce due to their refusal to pay dowry, and also discussing the existing or possible solutions in this regard. Ms. Amini believes that currently, dowry is not in its true path and this deviation is the cause of many problems in the Iranian family institution. She believes that proper education before marriage to young people, a realistic view of dowry and its amount during marriage, will greatly reduce conflicts.

Basically, why do we have the law of dowry? What has been the purpose and philosophy behind it?

The dowry in Islam is a way of honoring the status of a woman, and our law is derived from the religion of Islam. In Islam, the dowry is considered as a gift or offering that a man prepares for his beloved; depending on the financial situation and assets of the man, it can be land, a house, several gold coins, a bouquet of flowers, a copy of the Quran, or something similar to the dowry of Fatimah, the daughter of the Prophet, which was water. The purpose of the dowry is to elevate the status and position of the woman and to ensure that she is not given away for free to the man. Overall, the dowry is not emphasized on material aspects, but rather it is a way to express the love and affection of the man towards the woman. Unfortunately, nowadays, the dowry has been reduced to a valuation of the woman and has become a form of transaction in marriage.

Personally, as a woman, I have no problem with the concept of dowry. Also, considering that receiving a dowry is a form of gift, I have positive feelings towards it; meaning that it can also increase the love between the two parties. However, not at the cost of a man’s life being ruined. What has become customary in our society is simply wrong; because this gift should be given with love and affection, not at the heavy cost that is usually paid during divorce and causes men to resent marriage. Considering that humans are invaluable, dowry should not be seen as a price placed on a woman; because this leads to the degradation of her human worth. Dowry should not be used as a safety net for a woman’s future or for material gain. Although financial matters are an undeniable aspect of life, the purpose of marriage is to bring peace and stability to both the woman and the man, and to ensure the continuation of the human race.

In your opinion, has the dowry been able to strengthen families more?

In my opinion, dowry is not a guarantee for a stable life. Unfortunately, the current reality shows an increase in the chaotic rates of dowries, and at the same time, the number of divorce cases and unstable marriages is also on the rise. With this description, dowry is not a guarantee for a woman’s happiness, but it can make a man unhappy.

The strength of a family lies in the proper upbringing of children, eliminating wrong customs and extravagances, and sufficient education. However, considering that society is mostly male-dominated, in order to support women as the second gender, a dowry can be considered as a social and economic support of about 30% of the necessary conditions. In situations where men easily leave their married life or seek multiple relationships, a dowry can be helpful or even deterrent.

What is your opinion on the conditions for dowry and payment? Do you agree with imprisoning individuals?

From my perspective, there has been a lot of flexibility in the law regarding dowry demands; such as setting a limit on the maximum amount of dowry to 110 coins, requesting summons from the man, or adjusting the installments of the dowry. In any case, dowry is considered a debt that the man must pay like any other debt, and if he is able, it also helps men and this is also a great kindness from the law to men, which has been able to prevent men from going to prison or their lives from falling apart. Therefore, in my opinion, the problem is not so much with the law, but rather with our customs and culture. Unfortunately, when men fall in love, they accept any heavy dowry and then when the dowry is enforced or divorce is requested, they complain about the law.

What is your solution instead of prison?

First, I must emphasize that a debtor must pay their debts according to the law, and in Iran there is an executive guarantee law to protect creditors, which involves seizing assets and then issuing a warrant for arrest and imprisonment. However, I am against imprisoning men who truly do not have the financial ability to pay the dowry. But I wish men did not give in to unreasonable amounts beyond their means from the beginning. Nevertheless, women also have their own reasons for requesting dowry. Legally, after the death of a man, one-eighth of his property goes to his wife, and sometimes women believe that the dowry is a complementary part of this inheritance. The woman will inherit one-eighth of the movable property and one-eighth of the value of the immovable property. However, in the same law, if the man has children, he will inherit one-fourth of the woman’s property after her death. Also, let us not forget that the right to divorce belongs to

In the new plan of the parliament, it is predicted that individuals who intend to get married in the future should consider 14 Bahar Azadi coins as their dowry, taking into account the current conditions. What is your opinion on this matter?

About the proposed plan of the parliament to limit the dowry to 14 gold coins – considering that dowry is mostly defined in terms of gold coins – in my opinion, it is not a mistake and is a suitable plan. This is because the price of gold coins is constantly increasing and the limit of fourteen coins is almost equivalent to 110 coins several years ago. However, I wish that through media education and public education, the issue of high dowries and the resulting damages could be clarified and institutionalized. Evaluating a woman based on her education, beauty, or any other factor is not appropriate. Marriage is a partnership and dealing with financial matters in this regard is not the right thing to do. It would have been better if the government had thought of measures in this regard with the education and other facilities it has, so that we would be in a better situation than we are now, which has caused a lot of frustration in society.

In the law, there is a principle called “referring to the past” which is considered one of the foundations of rights. This means that new laws cannot invalidate previous rules and contracts. Unfortunately, for those who have been victims of the traditional practice of dowry before this law was passed and have been imprisoned, the new law cannot be enforced. However, the new law has not yet been implemented.

What is your suggestion to couples for dealing with the issue of dowry and having a secure life with equal rights?

See, it is us who create customs, but when faced with a dilemma, we only look for someone to blame. For example, men who are against paying high dowries and the laws related to it, complain about it, but in a situation where their sisters or loved ones are involved, they object to paying a lower dowry. So everyone should start with themselves. We are destroying ourselves; especially with our looks and vanity. As for myself, I can say that I do not agree with pricing my daughter, but with the current conditions and all the structural inequalities, I am not willing to easily marry off my daughter to someone.

I must definitely give my daughter the basic education such as making the right choices, previous knowledge and necessary preparation so that she can confidently step into married life. Our sons should also know that they need to be responsible and committed so that there is no need for so many strict rules and as a result, no divorce cases or conflicts.

Thank you for the opportunity you have given us to use the peace line.