In a healthy society, young people smile without reason and this is the charm of youth. But in today’s society in Iran, the conditions for young people, especially boys, are completely different. There are many factors that contribute to why young people in Iran do not experience a happy life; among them are the limitations of society in communication between girls and boys, inadequate sexual education, lack of attention to mental problems and the use of psychologists and counselors, the stress of the university entrance exam and an uncertain future that cannot be planned for. Boys also face more complex problems due to the focus on the issues of girls and women in the media, which leads to a lack of attention towards them. Mandatory military service, lack of empathy towards the suffering and hardships of men, and unbridled violence towards men are some of the issues that will be addressed in this note.

Society treats boys more harshly and ruthlessly from childhood and punishes their mistakes more severely. A brief look at the news reports on the punishment of children in schools, which have resulted in physical harm, shows that out of every ten injured children, about nine are boys. This harsh and rough treatment continues into adolescence and adulthood. In Western countries, where statistics are collected and made available to the public, men receive up to 63% harsher punishments for similar crimes and with similar backgrounds compared to women. (1 and 2)

Alongside this lack of empathy and cruelty in society towards punishing men, we must also mention the expectations and responsibilities that society demands from men. Men are primarily responsible for providing housing and livelihood for their families, and in Iranian society, it is still believed that women who work should not contribute to household expenses, and these expenses should solely be the responsibility of their husbands. This is not the case in most societies around the world, where girls are considered women upon reaching physical maturity and find their place in society. A place that comes with special protections everywhere. However, this is not the case for boys. From ancient times, boys had to demonstrate their courage and physical strength in war or hunting in order to be considered a man in society, or learn a skill that would allow them to generate wealth. These expectations for boys have continued with some changes in today’s world, and it is one of the challenges that young boys face as they enter society.

On the other hand, society expects men to defend the country in times of any external threat by risking their lives. In our country, based on a century-old law, men are required to serve in the military for two years at the age of 18, with a salary that is not even comparable to the minimum wage in Iran, in one of the military or government agencies. Bullying, humiliation, harsh relationships, unnecessary strictness, and many other things cause many young people to flee from mandatory military service or even commit suicide. Officials estimate the number of deserters in the country to be up to three million, and these deserters are deprived of basic human rights, such as the right to work or trade. It is natural that some of these three million deserters are forced to engage in illegal activities to make a living, leading to insecurity in society and an increase in the number of male prisoners.

Furthermore, the worry and anxiety about approaching military service and the college entrance exam during high school can cause anxiety and academic decline in boys. Young boys who are not successful in the entrance exam must go directly to mandatory military service, and this can greatly impact their entire lives.

Male vulnerability to psychological pressures and depression is another issue that is often overlooked by the media and social planners. In a study conducted in 2000 under the title “Broken Men”, it was revealed that the brains of male infants are more responsive to their mother’s depression and stress, and boys are more prone to depression and stress. (3) Men, due to societal expectations of toughness, are less likely to share their problems, especially psychological issues and pressures faced during adolescence, with their parents and friends. This results in fewer seeking treatment or counseling.

Some believe that men not addressing their problems is related to their masculine traits, while this behavior is due to societal expectations. As a result, in all human societies, men are two to three times more likely to commit suicide than women. According to statistics published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2020, for every 100 teenage girls who commit suicide between the ages of 15 and 19, there are 293 boys, and for every 100 women who commit suicide between the ages of 20 and 24, there are 464 men. (4 and 5)

Furthermore, based on a study conducted in 2019 on children aged 10 to 14, it was found that boys are more prone to emotional neglect and this is directly related to depression and aggressive behaviors among them. (6)

This emotional neglect, strictness, and lack of love and attention towards male children by families can be examined by looking at the statistics of child labor. According to an estimate in 2017, there were approximately 378,000 child laborers in Iran, of which 82.3% were boys. These children, who according to official reports, are subjected to abuse by 90% of them, and even less than 17.7% of girl child laborers receive attention from social workers and charity groups.

In such circumstances, it is the duty of media and civil institutions to raise awareness about these issues and strive to change the situation. Holding classes and workshops by civil institutions for families to change their parenting patterns and expectations from their sons, as well as organizing courses to increase self-confidence and self-awareness among boys, can greatly help families and boys become aware of the problems they will inevitably face. And of course, a fundamental step must be taken in changing discriminatory laws, including compulsory military service.

Sources:

1. Estimating Gender Bias in Federal Criminal Cases – Social Science Research Network Website – 1391 (2012)
2. Estimating Gender Bias in Federal Criminal Cases – University of Michigan Law School – 1391 (2012)
3. Male Breakers – BMJ Weekly Magazine – 1397 (2018)
4. For Every 100 Girls – Scribd Website – 1399 (2020)
5. Mortality, Percentage of Total Mortality – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention – 1397 (2018)
6. Measuring Adverse Childhood Experiences among Adolescents Worldwide: Association with Depression and Violence Symptoms – Adolescent Health Website – 1398 (2019)
7. Child Labor Statistics – Tadādol Newspaper
8. CEO of Tehran Municipality’s Social Services Organization: 90% of Child Laborers are Victims of Abuse – ISNA News Agency