Siyavash Khoramgah

Since according to the laws of the Islamic Republic, only relationships between opposite sexes are considered legal, Iran has become a pioneer in the field of gender reassignment surgeries for over three decades. Every year, a significant number of transgender and intersex citizens undergo these surgeries and endure the difficult process as the only way to continue their lives in the country. This issue gained attention when Ayatollah Khomeini issued a fatwa declaring gender reassignment surgery permissible. In the mid-1990s, “Maryam Khatoon Malekara” registered herself as the first Iranian transgender to undergo surgery.

The peace line has sat down for a conversation with a transgender person who introduces themselves as Mahsa, regarding their problems – both family and social. They have no clear or hopeful image of the future. They live in Isfahan and have been involved in “sexual business” or prostitution for several years due to financial problems, according to their own words.

Please introduce yourself and if possible, please tell us up to what level of education you have studied.

My name is Mahsa Mahdiani, born in the year 1362. I was born in Isfahan and currently live in the same city. I did not study much beyond middle school. My mother really wanted me to study more, get a degree, and have a respectable job, but I did not like studying. My dream was to get married and be a housewife…

Tell me a little about your family.

We were six children, I had one brother and four sisters. I had just turned 16 when my mother passed away in 78 and after that, everything got worse day by day.

My father has been married six times in his life and had not treated any of his wives well. He even refused to pay their dowries. He used to physically abuse my mother, which led to her developing heart problems and eventually passing away from a heart attack and stroke. I was under a lot of pressure after losing my mother at a young age, but even in those circumstances, my father was unkind to us. He wouldn’t let us go to our relatives’ house and would beat my sister so badly that she would have bruises. He didn’t provide for our food and clothing, to the point where we would go to bed hungry at night. He would often cut off our gas, electricity, or water due to unpaid bills. Despite being capable of working, my father would not go to work. He would consume alcohol and had no emotional stability. He would even hide food from us in the house and at night, he would put the food container above his head so I wouldn

At that time, I was living in conditions where we didn’t even have electrical appliances or carpets. The reason was that my mother had made a will for all her belongings to be divided among her daughters so that they wouldn’t fall into the hands of her stepmother. For several years, I struggled with poverty and my father’s behavior. Until in 84, I had a bad fight with my father and was forced to leave home. At that time, someone guided me to go and work as a caregiver in the homes of the elderly. They said if I did this job, I would be comfortable in terms of food and housing, and that’s how I became a caregiver for a while. But it wasn’t something I could sustain in the long run…

At what age did you discover your true identity and realize that you are transgender? Are you currently hiding your identity or not?

I had realized it since childhood. I wasn’t like my brother and I didn’t like their games… I have never liked and I don’t like to hide my true identity and that I am trans.

Have you ever experienced harassment or discrimination as a transgender person by your family or society?

Transgender children in Iran face many hardships. They are financially struggling and face a lot of discrimination and ridicule from society. The Iranian police also have a very low level of culture.

When they see me on the street, it often happens that they film me, laugh and make fun of me. They have even mistaken me for a runaway girl and thought I was dressed like a boy. Once, when I was waiting for a taxi on the street, two motorcyclists passed by and threw their cigarette butts towards me. The cigarette butt landed inside my collar and clothes…

I remember one day when I was with my friends at Saadi Park in Isfahan, there were a few people who knew about my situation. They would constantly make fun of me and say hurtful things because I am a transgender. They continued this behavior so much that I ended up calling 110 (emergency number in Iran). The police came; I explained the situation and told them that I am a trans person. But without paying any attention to what I was saying, they just left… One night in the fall of 2007, I went to Rajaei Park in Isfahan with a friend who was also trans to have dinner. While we were eating, it seemed like people had called the police. The police came and said that we were causing trouble. My friend and I got into a verbal argument with them and the police ended up hitting my friend. But we had not caused any trouble for anyone…

You had said that you were a nurse for the elderly at home. What happened that you left that job?

As I mentioned before, I had a friend who provided this opportunity for me. I was working as an elderly caregiver and would also sleep there at night. The first place I worked at, after a few months when they found out I was dating their son, they fired me. But I found another similar job and continued working. I worked in this field for a few years, but because I was constantly being harassed and the work was physically demanding, and the elderly had many demands, I couldn’t continue and turned to the sex business.

Why couldn’t you find a job as a trans and continue your life? Did you try for any other job besides nursing?

I didn’t have any education or specific expertise to find another job. Because I didn’t have good financial conditions and had to think about my place of residence, the only job available to me was taking care of the elderly. But the reason I gave up this job was because I felt empty, humiliated, and had severe self-doubt at work, and continuing that job was impossible for me. That’s why I turned to the sex business. Although I no longer have the ability to continue this job; because I am under pressure mentally and no longer have the physical capacity for this job; my body couldn’t handle it. I also feel in danger in this path and constantly fear being killed or being subjected to group abuse.

During this time, have you been bothered by your customers?

I have experienced instances of harassment and abuse, but I don’t remember much… One time, one of my customers wanted to take me to a secluded and deserted dirt road and beat me. I understood this from his attitude and behavior. When he increased the speed of the car, I tried to stop the car but he didn’t. I threatened him that if he didn’t stop, I would pull the handbrake and we would both die. He was driving at 120 kilometers per hour, but when he heard this, he got scared and stopped. He hit me on the shoulder with his fist and I got out of the car on that deserted road.

Is there any support from the government for you? Have you ever had any interest in undergoing surgery and changing your gender?

I never had a strong desire to change my gender. In fact, if our country had conditions where I could live as a trans person, without being strictly labeled as either male or female, I would never have pursued gender reassignment surgery. This is also an important issue in Iran, where surgeries are not performed correctly and often result in infections and other problems.

I have been trying to contact the welfare office for some time now regarding the promised laser expense, but I have called more than 20 times and have not received any results.

As a final question, what is your main problem at the moment and do you have any requests from your family?

My main problem is loneliness. My father not only does not support me, but has never even checked up on me since 1984. After some time, when my sister told him I had surgery, he asked why I did it and said he is not willing to see me. Of course, he behaves the same way with all of his children. My brother’s behavior is also the same. I don’t expect anything from them. Eventually, I was able to save some money and rent a house. I just want my father to care about me and check up on me once in a while.

I don’t know what fate awaits me in this country. I am young now and I can finally make some money, but I don’t know what situation I will find myself in the future. My imagination is that with the devaluation of the currency and as I get older, no one will come to my aid and help me, and with no support, I will end up sleeping on the streets. I often think about suicide and I feel like I will eventually have to do it. I have also thought about leaving Iran, but that is not an easy or achievable task. After all, I have managed to build a home and a life for myself here. Plus, I live in a country where people speak my native language. This is my situation in this country, but if I were to go to a country like Turkey, for example, I don’t know what troubles I would face without knowing the language, having financial support, and with the lack of security. That is why I

Thank you for the opportunity you have given us.