Conversation with Mani Tehrani

“Our trust in others stems from our self-confidence” or “Trust in others is a sign of our culture”; these are familiar phrases. However, news and reports show that we actually know them as mere words, like the wind in a Persian proverb. Instead, to build more trust, we pay attention to transparency, the duration of the relationship, and the expected benefit in the behavior of the other person, and every day we trust less than before. It is said that the level of public trust in Iran has reached less than ten percent, and this figure is even close to zero in the Iranian immigrant community. What are the reasons for the increase and spread of distrust in Iranian society? What are the damages and ways to change it?

For a better understanding of this topic, we have consulted with Dr. Noushin Sabeti, a psychologist and family counselor in the United States, and of course, we have also talked about the reasons for the low level of public trust in the Iranian society outside the country, which you will read about in the following.

Mrs. Dr. Sabeti, what is the definition of trust and its importance?

“Trust is the foundation and cornerstone of all human relationships, which plays a direct and undeniable role in creating hope, motivation, inner peace, security, self-worth, kindness, creativity, happiness, and positive thinking. Eric Erickson, a German-American psychologist, considers trust to be the basis of a healthy personality.”

In the theory of “Eight Stages of Human Psychological Development” by Erikson, the first stage is the formation of trust versus mistrust, which encompasses the child from birth to 18 months. A key feature of this stage is creating trust to foster hope in the child. If the child successfully passes through this first stage, which is the foundation of mental health, they will also overcome the next three stages of autonomy, initiative, and competence without issues of shame, doubt, guilt, and inferiority. As a result, in the fifth stage of adolescence, they will successfully acquire their identity and pass through the “identity crisis,” which is inevitable at this time, in a healthy manner.

During these stages, the role of social factors is as follows: mother, parents, family, teachers and peers, social environments, and ultimately the entire society in which the individual lives, are responsible. The susceptibility of a person to each of these social factors, as well as the presence or absence of diseases or hereditary diseases that cause doubt, are characteristics of creating trust or distrust in the individual.

Having trust or mistrust in the remaining three stages of life, namely youth, middle age, and old age, which make up more than three quarters of a person’s life, determines their destiny and will make a significant impact on their own hands.

It is important to know that individual distrust can be repaired at any stage of life; however, the establishment of social, political, and economic trust depends on fundamental changes in the mentioned institutions and the creation of a democratic system.

What is your opinion about the overall statistics that say the level of public trust in each other in Iranian society is less than ten percent and among Iranians outside the country has reached zero?

I do not know the method and procedure of the statistical survey that was conducted, for example in the statistics taken from Iranians living abroad, which country or countries were sampled and what age groups were selected, and whether the questions were about personal, social, or political trust. In any case, my professional studies and experience are different.

It seems that, except for family relationships in some families, the percentage of public trust in each other in Iran, especially social trust, may be even less than ten percent. The clear evidence of this claim is the unfavorable social, political, and economic situation of the country, which is reflected in the index of trust between individuals in society and citizens with the government. Only by considering the published statistics on the number of drug addicts, unemployed, poor, countless political and ideological prisoners, and the presence of fear, suffocation, and severe corruption in government organizations, can we understand that trust in Iran is a commodity without buyers.

Among Iranians who have immigrated to European, American, Canadian, Australian, and similar countries, the level of trust is directly related to the year of immigration and their age. Individuals who have been outside of Iran for many years and their children who were born in these countries have a much higher level of trust in themselves, others, and society. This is due to the direct connection between trust and feelings of security, freedom, and the presence of democracy in these countries. The right to speak and express desires and beliefs, and the freedom to act, creates an environment for growth and improvement, and as a result, these individuals are hopeful, peaceful, and motivated to contribute to themselves, others, and society. Although they have not left their homeland by choice, they have the ability to influence and be influenced, or “acculturation,” and as they are influenced by the host society, they also bring their own culture and are able to open their own paths in all fields of science, politics

Most young people who have left Iran since childhood or were born abroad, even if they have parents who suffer from mistrust, have a high level of trust and are also more trustworthy. These young people do not need to deceive or pretend to get attention and are not forced to lie or hide things from others.

Among Iranians who have migrated later and have spent a longer time in Iran, or often travel between Iran and the West, there is much less trust. Telling insignificant lies without reason and hiding things, which are signs of fear and insecurity, are things that are often seen in newly migrated Iranians. Some of these migrants, despite having security, freedom, and access to comfortable living and education, are still struggling with psychological and social issues they have experienced, and have no hope for the future.

These individuals are victims of a corrupt and oppressive system that suppresses critical thinking and promotes superstitions and victimhood in order to maintain its own survival. Fear of death, punishment, poverty, unemployment, lack of personal and social freedoms are some of the reasons for their migration. Despite all of this, those who receive psychological help will be able to overcome their fears and past difficulties and eventually find peace and some level of trust.

What factors contribute to the spread of distrust and what practical solutions exist to combat distrust in the current conditions of Iranian society?

“We know that the two main factors of distrust are insecurity and instability. Now, if we compare these factors to a cancerous tumor in the body of society, we find that the elements of its spread are undoubtedly hidden within that same society. It is better to take a brief look at the roots and reasons for the emergence of insecurity and instability in order to examine the subject at hand.”

Perhaps the belief that the Iranian society has long been plagued by distrust is true. The attention to the sycophantic works of writers, especially poets, in different eras, the characteristic of flattery and swearing for everyone and everything, is a few examples that indicate fear, hypocrisy, and deceitfulness. On the other hand, doubt and hesitation, which we humorously refer to as the “Uncle John Napoleon Syndrome”, has also been a chronic illness in most members of society.

Distrust also has its roots in the history and culture of our country. Iran has rarely seen peace within itself. Especially after the Arab invasion and the arrival of Islam in Iran, our history has been filled with attacks, murders, looting, bloodshed, and hypocrisy from rulers and religious leaders. Lying or practicing taqiyya (religious dissimulation) has been necessary to protect one’s life, honor, and property, and phrases like “inshallah” (God willing), “if God permits,” and “we’ll see what happens” are commonly used because people do not trust the future. It is not unfounded that since the Qajar era, in many travelogues and reports written by diplomats during their stay in Iran, we Iranians have been described as deceitful, distrustful of ourselves and others, and two-faced. This lying and distrust has become so normalized that we often do not even realize it.

At the same time, even with security and stability in democratic and law-abiding countries, there is no absolute trust and always a percentage of people view political, economic, and social issues with doubt.

However, the lack of trust that we are currently witnessing in Iran is the result of a systematic and carefully designed system that has infected all aspects of society, institutions, and groups. Like all other oppressive regimes, this regime has used the philosophy of “divide and rule” from the very beginning, without wasting any time, to ensure its own survival by preventing unity and cohesion among the people and their institutions. The less trust there is, the more fragmented and vulnerable the society becomes. The promotion of espionage, even within the privacy of families, and the use of assassination and terror as a means to further isolate the people, are all tactics used by this regime.

Historical and educational books from elementary school to the highest levels of university have been changed and distorted, and schools and universities have become places of teaching superstitions and brainwashing for the young and future builders of the nation. The laws have replaced the sciences and the mockery has replaced moral values. In this society, where neighbors are suspicious of each other and fathers are suspicious of their children, lying for personal gain is encouraged and deceit and trickery are acceptable. Whipping, torture, amputation, stoning, and execution, especially without due process, are among the laws of the land. It is no wonder that its people think of survival as a law of the jungle; of course, in the jungle, trust is equivalent to losing one’s life.

In this path, hostage-taking marked the beginning of Iran’s political isolation, and the imposed war, paying millions of dollars to terrorist groups, billions of dollars of theft from the national treasury, and the unfinished dream of nuclear energy, emptied the people’s table. The women’s society, which made up fifty percent of the active force of society, became passive and subjected to humiliation and degradation. The lack of democracy and laws guaranteeing individual and social freedoms, the absence of a stable political and economic system, and a fair judicial system, instilled distrust and hopelessness in the fabric of the people. As a result, not only did distrust prevail, but many psychological consequences such as depression and anxiety affected a large number of people in Iran, as we are familiar with.

Fortunately, lack of trust, like many psychological issues, is treatable. However, the establishment of social, political, and economic trust relies on fundamental changes in the mentioned institutions and under the umbrella of a democratic government. But until that time, which is not far away, and in the current circumstances of personal and social restrictions, each individual can start by taking responsibility and contribute to changing the social conditions by accepting their role as a citizen. This will pave the way for fundamental transformations. Additionally, the participation of educated and young individuals in utilizing social networks for spreading knowledge and disseminating accurate news are key factors that significantly increase the chances of success.

Some effective solutions that change perspective and expand worldview to prepare the ground for transformation include: believing in oneself and utilizing hidden abilities, believing in and respecting human dignity, helping to create hope in oneself and others, fostering a sense of cooperation and collaboration in oneself and others, familiarizing oneself with the concept of freedom and democracy and educating others about it, strengthening universal moral values derived from human rights texts within oneself, assisting in promoting these moral values in society, becoming more familiar with science and new scientific discoveries in various fields, promoting critical thinking and educating others about scientific concepts.

With effort and perseverance in pursuing the mentioned goals, it can be hoped that the spirit of cooperation and trust will be restored in society and gradually trusted and confident groups will be formed.

As an example, what are the conditions in American society? How much is the level of public trust and on what basis is trust built?

In America, the existence of democracy and the protection of citizens by the law has led people to be involved in shaping their own destiny. Trust is based on transparency in relationships. In social relationships, laws guarantee this transparency. In America, because people participate in the creation and change of laws, they have more respect and trust.

Although research shows that the level of trust among individuals has decreased compared to ten years ago and people are more cautious in their relationships with others, ethical qualities such as respecting individuals’ privacy still exist and lead to mutual respect and trust.

Political trust relies on the performance of elected politicians. This leads politicians to strive for maintaining their position by seeking the satisfaction and trust of the people. The right to vote is one of the important rights that citizens value and trust. Voting takes place in a completely free space and the counting of votes is done accurately. Usually, people trust their elected representatives or the parties they belong to, as long as their representatives are protecting the interests and desires of the people.

Thank you for the opportunity you have given us.