Each of us has heard many stories of repentance in detention centers and political prisons in the 1990s. Bitter stories that in many cases put a person between death and repentance. As we have heard a lot about the executions of 1967, the issue of “being executed” or “surviving” became a criterion for those who had spent years in prison. Many political activists in that period sacrificed their lives or endured physical torture to protect their political beliefs. Every political activist who has heard or read these stories forms an image of struggle in their mind that is accompanied by perseverance and patience with their beliefs; perseverance that can cost them their lives and torture. This heavy oral history had an impact on the minds of political and civil activists in our country, and it was natural for me to also have such an image of resistance against beliefs in prison.

With such backgrounds, on the last days of Dey month of 1401, after two months of being in the detention cells of Sepah Mashhad, I was transferred to Vakilabad prison. The first nights that I was transferred to Vakilabad prison, after enduring consecutive days in solitary confinement and being deprived of phone calls, I was now very happy and compared to the detention center, the prison did not seem like a bad place. The third hall of the quarantine ward of Vakilabad prison in Mashhad was allocated to the detainees of the protests. Although the overcrowding and lack of facilities and poor hygiene conditions were causing distress for the children in the protest hall, for many of them who had a normal life three months ago, the main issue was the livelihood and the well-being of their families outside the prison.

“When I entered prison, months had passed since the streets of Mashhad had calmed down and the population of detained protesters in Vakilabad had decreased to less than one-fifth of its peak in mid-November. This was because, for whatever reason, the judicial and security system had decided to release most of the detainees on bail or bond as quickly as possible. As a result, there were those in Vakilabad prison who could not be released sooner according to the views of the judicial and security system, or who did not have the means to provide bail or bond. It could be assumed that many of these individuals were accused of confronting officers, setting fires, leading protests, or storing and using Molotov cocktails and similar tools. In fact, during those days in prison, the most revolutionary figures remained. Of course, their “revolutionary” status did not necessarily mean they were politically active. Many of these individuals had little political knowledge and had not even thought about the

From the very first days, I heard that the officials of the quarantine ward of the prison were giving hope to the children that more than 90% of you will not stay here. But the mechanism of this release was not clearly depicted. The children who were tired of being suspended in the prison, calmed their hearts by repeating these same sentences. Gradually, the issue of possible amnesty was raised. The children who were waiting until a few days ago for the government to reach the celebration of February 22, were now eagerly waiting for the news of their release. The atmosphere was filled with rumors. It was heard that in order to be granted amnesty, one must write a repentance letter. A few ordinary prisoners had turned into legal advisors for the children in the protest hall. They shared their own experiences and what they had heard about the issue of amnesty and repentance letters. The widespread understanding was that by signing a repentance letter, the accusations would be accepted and confirmed by the accused

One afternoon while I was busy praying in the school mosque, I saw one of the younger students sitting in a corner with his ears covered and a notebook on his lap, writing something on a piece of paper while looking at the faces of the other students in the mosque. This image reminded me of the school mosque and the performance of the high school education deputies. But I didn’t let it bother me and returned to the hall. In the hall, a wave of new rumors was swirling. The clergyman who was the cultural deputy of the quarantine district had started this wave. He had told the children that forgiveness was on the way and in order to be eligible for forgiveness, they needed to write a repentance letter. And in order to fill out the repentance letter, we had to introduce individuals with the qualifications for repentance to the judge of the case files, and we prioritize those who attend the mosque ceremony. His action was effective, and from the next day, there was no more

“Of course, things went differently. After hearing the news of amnesty from the media and the thousands of hopes and anxieties that everyone was either included or excluded, all the children were quickly summoned to the prison’s ministerial hall. We were a limited number who had reached the court and returned to our cells. The rest of the children stood in line and took turns talking to the interrogator about their cases. The amnesty letter was not strictly drafted and whatever anyone wrote was accepted. Among the children was a famous person named “Mamad Kazino”. He was an artist who had created games like backgammon, chess, checkers, and others with limited resources in Vakilabad. Mamad refused to sign any repentance letters. He was not a political activist and did not have a high political knowledge, and his Mashhadi accent was clearly evident in his speech. I unconsciously admired Mamad, because he had told the interrogator, “My protest is my

Approximately 10 out of 126 people who were in the protest hall when I entered remained in Vakilabad, and the others were released on bail or amnesty.