Karen Danielsen Hornai was born on September 16, 1885 in a small village near Hamburg in northern Germany. She was the second child of the family. In 1906, at the age of six, she entered the medical school of the University of Freiburg, just six years after women were allowed to study medicine. From 1932 to 1952, Karen Hornai was a member of the faculty of the Chicago and New York Psychoanalytic Institutes. She was the founder of the “Society for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis” and the “American Institute for Psychoanalysis” and was also a busy teacher, writer, and therapist. During these years, she developed her own theory of personality in America.

In the early 20th century, he saw the very complex atmosphere of Germany. An atmosphere in which conformity and thinking like others was recommended, prescribed, and even imposed. Karen Horney believed that many of the “shoulds” that we hear within ourselves are of the same nature of this prescription and imposition, and in the toxic atmosphere of societies, if we can think independently and in connection with reality, we may not reach the prescribed results that society has in mind for us.

Karen Horney, contrary to Freud, emphasized the role of environment in the formation of human personality. Horney, who experienced the limitations imposed by society on women’s creative growth during her studies in medicine, later was able to identify and explain one of the psychological reasons for the perpetuation of the cycle of “domestic violence” in defining personality types.

Karen Horney believed that every person has two “selves” at one time: the “real self” and the “ideal self”. The real self is flexible and dynamic, and it encompasses all of a person’s inner forces and efforts to search for and fulfill their real needs. This concept not only reflects a person’s abilities, growth, and self-awareness, but also motivates them to strive for their true self. On the other hand, the ideal self is rigid, inflexible, and unattainable. This self-image acts as an absolute ruler and not only fails to pursue a goal, but also becomes a dogmatic belief that hinders a person’s growth. In fact, it is a dictatorship that demands blind submission and imposes its own prescriptions.

Karen Horne says: Women who, due to imposed societal expectations, see themselves as intimidated by the roles assigned to them by society, enter into a transaction here; they decide to conform to external rules and values, in the hope of gaining more control over their surrounding world, their society, and in short, their external environment.

Karen Horne has reached the stage of the “submissive” personality, following the trends that not only exacerbate mental suffering, but also accept and give wings to it. The submissive personality continuously exhibits behavior that relies on obtaining love and support from a close individual (usually a spouse or romantic partner) in order to conform to the “ideal self” imposed by the close society. This ideal self is passive and accepting, and considers actions such as loyalty and unquestioning acceptance of circumstances as “self-sacrifice,” constantly glorifying it.

In such circumstances, a woman whose husband is causing her harm, thinks that maybe if she pays attention to his demands and follows his will more, not only will she experience less harm, but she will also receive his support. In this way, a deep belief is formed, which is the result of a fundamental mental illness and, in other words, the beginning of the “learned helplessness” cycle.

In this time, it is possible that the true self may have less opportunity to emerge and as a result, the self-image begins to destroy the true self, taking away the individual’s autonomy and leaving them alone in the cycle of violence that has been created.

In front of the “aggressive” personality stands someone who believes that the most cunning people in the world survive. The world is like a jungle where superiority, power, and predatory behavior are dominant virtues. Those who have no fear of rejection and constantly submit to the violence and actions of submissive individuals ensure their own survival. In these two spectrums, individuals sometimes become fragmented and emotionally distance themselves from society, trying to become self-sufficient and find solutions; solutions that conflict with the two other opposing personalities and can lead to mental illness, as they receive no support from the imposing society.

Hornai believes that a healthy individual can overcome any of the following obstacles by resorting to their “true self”, as long as society is able to maintain a balance between men and women and provide equal opportunities for both genders.

Sources:

1. Theories of Personality, by Duane Schultz, translated by Youssef Karimi and others, published by Ersbaran.

2. An Introduction to Feminist Theories, by Rosemary Tong, translated by Manijeh Najm Araqi.

3. 3. www.motamem.org (Center for Development of My Skills)