“در این تصویر، یک گل سرخ در حال باز شدن را می‌بینید”

“In this image, you can see a red flower in the process of blooming.”
Behrouz Javid Tehrani

When it comes to talking about prisoners and dowry, many of us wonder why men commit to something during marriage that they cannot afford to pay. The answer to this question lies in the gender and religious norms that families and society teach boys from childhood. Norms in which a man in love must be like Farhad, climbing mountains to reach his beloved, or like Majnun, wandering in the desert for Layla.

The reason for men to accept the dowry, whatever it may be, is the strange judicial process currently being implemented in Iran and the extreme fluctuations in the price of gold coins, which have turned the issue of dowry prisoners into a daily topic and highlighted the need for a review of marriage laws more than ever before. The judicial system intends to conceal the inefficiency of marriage laws by imprisoning men and resist rewriting this important social law. Unaware that this unfair method not only punishes innocent individuals and imposes heavy costs on society, but also creates numerous problems for women and children. In the following, I intend to mention some of the problems and dangers that the dowry law, and in particular imprisoning men, creates for women.

Perhaps taking a look at the translation of one of the Islamic marriage contract clauses can shed light on the reason for the existence of dowry. “I give myself to you for sexual relations and marriage in exchange for a specified amount of money/ I marry you and you marry me according to the known dowry.” Some Islamic scholars have also considered the term “mat’atuka” to mean “for your pleasure” as correct.

As you can see, the philosophy of dowry from a materialistic perspective towards women, or if we say more accurately, towards women’s sexuality, begins and still promotes this perspective. A perspective in which on one hand, a man must pay for a relationship with a woman, and on the other hand, finds a relative ownership over her body. In this traditional framework, women and men are placed against each other with their sexuality and money, and a transaction takes place. This traditional framework and underlying thinking, that men should bear the cost of establishing a sexual relationship, whether in its religious-traditional model, namely marriage, or at its end, namely prostitution, or even paying for current expenses by men, such as restaurant and café expenses, are the main pillars of the stability of a traditional system and relationship between men and women, and the main obstacle to regulating laws such as the prohibition of domestic violence, rape of spouse, partner, etc.

Apart from this, the price of goods that a woman intends to exchange depends on various factors such as brand, age, beauty, social status, etc. Therefore, as long as the dowry law exists, the importance of brand and its test will not be eliminated from society.

Although in the distant past, when the environment, nature, and outside responsibilities were harsher, this economic exchange could perhaps provide benefits and security for women. However, today, when women can also enter the social arena under the shadow of security and modernism, and produce money without economic dependence on men, undoubtedly it has no profit for them.

On the other hand, this economic exchange of traditional marriage or commodification of sex in the relationship between men and women causes men from the middle or poor class of society to lose the opportunity for marriage or even sexual relationships with the opposite gender. This in itself can lead to social abnormalities such as street harassment and even an increase in the statistics of sexual assault.

In this regard, economic exchange has created false marriages or jobs for women, or even hope for this source of money that in many cases does not lead to a successful outcome, keeps women from other efforts to generate money and wealth. Alongside this, the dowry serves as an excuse for authorities to avoid reforming the unjust laws of marriage in Iran, and women also show less inclination to strive for changing these laws – which are unfair for both genders.

Another issue that is assumed for dowry is that it does not guarantee women’s legitimate rights such as the right to divorce. Because in cases where the man is wealthy, he can pay the dowry and alimony and still keep a woman who wants to leave the relationship for any reason, in his marriage contract.

In addition, the dowry sword of Damocles is not only not a guarantee of a lasting marriage, but also threatens the married life and contributes to the increase in divorce rates. Women who think they can keep a man forever with the leverage of a dowry, or men who are worried and anxious about going to prison for the dowry, how can they pay attention to each other and water the seed of their relationship in married life? The significant decrease in marriage rates is another reason that experts attribute to the consequences of the dowry law in Iran. The biggest blow of this low marriage rate is felt by women, especially in rural areas and villages. Because in these areas, women cannot easily experience relationships outside of marriage and their only hope is to form a family.

It should be noted that the existence of dowry can even affect the lives of children. For example, consider a teacher who has given a thousand coins as dowry to his wife and they are happily living together. They have two children, but the mother of the family passes away due to cancer. The husband’s brothers, who have passed away, now demand the dowry of their sister, and according to the law, this teacher must pay one coin of freedom every three months to his deceased wife’s brothers while working and taking care of his children. This is because one-third of the dowry has been inherited by his wife’s family (a real-life example).

The issue of high rates of domestic violence in Iran due to the difficulty of leaving a relationship is almost beyond debate. This not only includes men who commit domestic violence due to the existence of dowry and fear of imprisonment, but also encompasses women who kill their spouses due to lack of divorce rights. However, the only remaining option for Iranian women and men until marriage laws are changed is to collect alimony, the right to work, and the division of assets accumulated during marriage. Alongside this, many lawyers suggest setting a two Bahar Azadi coin as dowry, as if no amount is specified in the marriage document, the court can determine the equivalent amount, which may be a high sum.